Why are women orgasming less?

Francois Renaud M.A 30 May 2025

The Great Orgasm Gap: Why Straight Women Deserve Better (and Maybe a To-Do List)

Let’s talk about the most awkward, glorious, sweaty, and sometimes deeply disappointing moment in human interaction: the orgasm. Or, more specifically, let’s talk about the orgasm gap—that mysterious abyss where female pleasure goes to die (or at least gets lost on the way).

The Orgasm Gap 101: Who’s Coming and Who’s… Just Coming Along?

Researchers—those brave souls who somehow convinced people to talk honestly about their sex lives—have crunched the numbers. Here’s what the data shows:

Straight men orgasm 95% of the time during sex. They’re basically out here playing on easy mode.
Lesbian women orgasm about 86% of the time. That’s not just impressive—it’s a feminist utopia with lube.
Straight women? A depressing 65%. And somewhere, a vibrator weeps in solidarity.

(Source: 2017 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, based on a survey of over 52,000 people.)

Yes, you read that right. Straight women are less likely to climax during partnered sex than anyone else on the menu. Lesbian women are beating them by over 20 percentage points. It’s like showing up to a buffet and only being allowed to sniff the dessert table.

So… What the Hell is Going On?

Well, several things:

1. The Penis-Centered Plot

Straight sex is often scripted like a bad 90s movie: insert tab A into slot B, roll credits. Hetero couples tend to view penetration as the main event, even though only 20% of women orgasm from penetration alone. You know what works? Clitoral stimulation. It’s not a luxury add-on; it’s the engine.

But the myth of the “vaginal orgasm” (thanks, Freud) still haunts us like a ghost that refuses to believe in Google.

2. Communication: Apparently Not a Turn-On

Lesbians talk more about what they like in bed. They have to—there’s no penis to autopilot the experience. This means more exploration, more creativity, and more “oh, that’s the spot” moments. Straight couples? Often, it’s just assumed that the man knows what he’s doing because he once watched a YouTube tutorial. On skateboarding.

3. Sex Ed: Still Failing Us

If your high school health class skimmed over female anatomy like a scared tour guide, you’re not alone. Many women grow up not even knowing what their own bodies need to reach orgasm, let alone how to explain it to someone else. Meanwhile, most guys know exactly how to work their joystick. Because they’ve had years of… solo research.

Now Let’s Be Fair (Briefly)

This isn’t to say all straight men are villains in boxer briefs. Many want to please their partners and simply don’t know what’s not working. Also, performance anxiety, body image, and cultural shame impact everyone. But if we keep pretending women’s pleasure is some unsolvable mystery, we’ll never fix the gap.

Solutions! (Because You Deserve to Finish the Ride)

Foreplay Is Not Optional

Stop calling it “foreplay.” It’s sex. The clitoris isn’t a side dish—it’s the entrée.

Talk Dirty… and Logistically

Communication can be sexy. Try “Tell me what feels good,” instead of assuming you’re Casanova because you learned a new move from Reddit.

️‍♀️ Get Curious

Watch ethical, woman-centered porn. Read erotica. Ask questions. Pretend you’re on a scavenger hunt for pleasure, not just checking off “intercourse” like it’s a dentist appointment.

Normalize Toys in the Bedroom

No, it’s not a competition. Vibrators are like power tools: incredibly helpful, and often more efficient than elbow grease.

Final Thoughts (And Hopefully Not Just Yours)

The orgasm gap isn’t just a statistic—it’s a wake-up call. Women, especially straight women, deserve better than sex that ends with, “Was it good for you?” and a confused shrug. Lesbian couples are out here showing us that with time, communication, and a little creative thinking, sex can be satisfying for everyone.

So maybe it’s time to start closing the gap. One honest conversation—and one enthusiastic “yes, right there!”—at a time.

P.S. If you’re a straight guy reading this and wondering if you’re part of the problem: congratulations, you care. That’s hot. Now go learn about the clitoris. Everyone wins.