What you want is love…not war

Francois Renaud M.A 17 April 2025

“The Fab Five You Should Totally Ghost During a Fight”

Ah, love. That beautiful dance of shared dreams, warm cuddles, and… passive-aggressive comments about who really forgot to take out the trash.

Relationships are a wild ride, and no one knows the potholes better than sexologist. They are the professionals who looks at your screaming match over dishwasher etiquette and says, “Let’s unpack that, shall we?”

So, in the spirit of relational harmony (and fewer broken remote controls), let’s talk about THE five things to avoid in a fight, also known as the Fab Five You Should Totally Ghost If You Want Your Relationship to Survive.

1. Being Right

Ah, yes. The sweet, smug satisfaction of proving your partner wrong with a perfectly-timed “I told you so.” It’s like heroin for the ego.

But let’s be real: if your goal is to win the fight, congratulations—you’ve officially lost the relationship.

Try this instead: Rather than proving your point with a color-coded PowerPoint, maybe ask, “What’s happening for you right now?” (Yes, it feels weird. Yes, it works. No, you won’t die from it.)

2. Controlling Your Partner

“Could you just calm down?”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“You’re overreacting.”

Ladies, gentlemen, and emotionally flammable humans—this is not a hostage negotiation. Trying to control your partner’s feelings, reactions, or breathing pattern is basically a guaranteed ticket to the doghouse. Or the couch. Or your in-laws’ judgmental guest room.

Pro tip: Control your own behavior. Let your partner be a grown-up. Unless they’re eating chips with their mouth open. Then… you can just leave the room.

3. Unbridled Self-Expression

Yes, your emotions are valid.
No, that doesn’t mean you get to throw a verbal Molotov cocktail just because you’re “speaking your truth.”

Sexologist agree that unchecked emotional dumping isn’t communication—it’s emotional terrorism.

Channel your inner adult: If what you’re about to say could get you fired from a job or sued by a relative, maybe don’t say it to your partner either.

4. Retaliation

Ah, the classic move: they hurt you, so you hurt them back. A timeless strategy, if your goal is mutual destruction and a passive-aggressive group chat with your best friend named “HE’S THE WORST.”

Retaliation is tempting, but ultimately, it’s the emotional version of setting your own kitchen on fire because your roommate left dishes in the sink.

Alternative strategy: Take a breath, remind yourself that revenge is a dish best never served, and maybe go scream into a pillow instead.

5. Withdrawal

And finally, the silent treatment—also known as “I’m fine” but with the emotional temperature of Antarctica.

Withdrawing can feel like self-protection, but in a relationship, it’s like pulling the plug on a dying plant and wondering why it didn’t grow.

Instead of disappearing into your mental fortress: Try a vulnerable sentence like, “I want to talk about this, but I need a few minutes to cool down.” (This will feel unnatural at first. Like wearing pants at home.)

In Conclusion…

Relationships aren’t about being perfect; they’re about showing up, screwing up, owning it, and learning how to love better.

So the next time you’re mid-fight and tempted to unleash one of the Fab Five, remember: Sexologist have already seen it all. And they will politely ask you to cut the drama, keep the love, and stop weaponizing the recycling schedule.

Now go out there, apologize for that tone you definitely had, and maybe hug it out. Or better yet—laugh about it. Because humor might not solve every problem, but it sure makes them easier to survive together.