How the Way You Were Loved Defines How You Make Love (With a Dash of Humor!)

Let’s talk about love. Not the sweet, Hollywood rom-com kind where the two main characters meet in a coffee shop and walk off into the sunset together. No, today we’re diving deep into the gritty, quirky, sometimes downright awkward way in which our past experiences of love shape how we make love as adults. And hey, we’ll sprinkle in a bit of humor because, let’s face it, love is weird. Let’s embrace the awkwardness together, shall we?

Chapter 1: The “Parents Know Best” Blueprint

If you grew up in a household where your parents smothered you with affection (and probably knitted you matching sweaters until you were 17), chances are you approach love in a way that’s warm, nurturing, and borderline obsessive. You’ve probably been called “clingy” a couple of times, but in reality, you just care—a lot! When you’re in a relationship, you make sure your partner is well-fed, well-loved, and well… maybe just a little bit too well-informed about your daily life.

Love-making style: The nurturer. You’re the kind who makes sure your partner is tucked in afterward, offers a glass of water, and maybe even throws in a bedtime story for good measure. You think foreplay starts with cooking their favorite meal, and let’s be honest, you’re probably right. Your attention is all on them and your forget yourself. You want to be good and give yourself to them.

Humor tip: Don’t forget, you also exist and can enjoy sex for yourself without having to pass the competence test about your sexual skills.

Chapter 2: The “Parents Were Distant” Dilemma

For those of you who grew up with a parent or parents who communicated primarily through grunts and the occasional thumbs-up, love might be a bit trickier to navigate. You’ve mastered the art of being “fine,” even when you’re not, and your idea of intimacy might involve sitting next to someone on the couch without looking them directly in the eyes.

Love-making style: The minimalist. You keep things straightforward, no frills. A simple “you good?” mid-session suffices as both a check-in and a declaration of eternal love. You’re low-maintenance, but your partner might be waiting for a little more emotional engagement.

Humor tip: Don’t be afraid to break out of your comfort zone and whisper something truly romantic, like, “Did you know there’s leftover pizza in the fridge?” Baby steps, right?

Chapter 3: The “Drama Queen/King” Syndrome

Ah, the drama of it all! If your childhood was filled with grand declarations, tearful goodbyes, and parents who fought passionately only to make up just as passionately, then congratulations! You’ve inherited the theatrical gene. You’re the kind who’s convinced that every relationship is a wild rollercoaster ride, and if you’re not crying or passionately arguing, you’re doing it wrong.

Love-making style: The performer. You bring fireworks, choreographed routines, and maybe even a fog machine. You live for the highs and lows, the dramatic pauses, and the idea that love should be intense, passionate, and a little bit crazy.

Humor tip: Remember, not every romantic moment needs to be an Oscar-winning performance. Sometimes, quietly holding hands while watching Netflix is the pinnacle of romance. (But sure, keep the fog machine on standby—you never know.)

Chapter 4: The “Strong and Silent” Caretaker

If you grew up with parents who rarely said “I love you” but showed it by making sure your shoes were always polished and your lunch was packed, then you’ve probably adopted the love language of quiet gestures. You’re not one for grand declarations or cheesy lines, but your partner will always find their phone fully charged and their favorite snacks in the cupboard.

Love-making style: The unsung hero. You might not shout your love from the rooftops, but you make sure your partner never runs out of toothpaste. You’re steady, reliable, and will always warm up the bed before they get in.

Humor tip: It’s okay to mix things up and throw in a wild card every now and then. Leave a Post-it note that says, “You’re cute,” and watch their heart melt. Or go really wild and… hold their hand in public! Scandalous, I know.

Chapter 5: The “Free Spirit” Experiment

Were your parents the kind who encouraged you to “express yourself” and didn’t believe in things like bedtimes or curfews? If so, you’ve probably grown up to be the “anything goes” kind of lover. You’re open-minded, adventurous, and believe that love should be as free as a bird (preferably one that’s really into tantric yoga).

Love-making style: The explorer. You’re up for trying anything at least once (or twice, just to be sure). You’re the kind who introduces new techniques, toys, or even positions that look like they require a degree in gymnastics.

Humor tip: Just remember that not every night has to be an exploration of the Kama Sutra. Sometimes, the simplest things can be the most pleasurable. Like, you know, gazing into each others eyes. You might also be on the selfish side where you had no limits and only pleasure counts creating frustration on the other side.

Chapter 6: The “Perfectionist” Paradox

Lastly, if you grew up with parents who were always striving for the best and encouraged you to be the absolute best at everything (no pressure, right?), you’ve probably carried this mindset into your relationships. You believe in working hard, even when it comes to matters of the heart (and bedroom).

Love-making style: The overachiever. You’ve read all the books, watched all the instructional videos, and probably have a spreadsheet somewhere tracking your “performance.” You want every experience to be 10/10, Michelin-star-worthy, five stars on Yelp. You also want your partner to constantly validate how good you are!

Humor tip: Relax. Love isn’t a job interview, and there’s no annual performance review. Sometimes, just being present is more than enough. And if things get awkward or weird? Laugh about it! After all, that’s what makes it human.

Conclusion: Embrace the Weirdness

At the end of the day, how you were loved as a child plays a significant role in how you express and experience love as an adult. But here’s the twist: No matter how you approach love, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to do it. Love is messy, beautiful, confusing, exhilarating, and yes, sometimes downright hilarious.

So whether you’re the nurturing type, the distant minimalist, the theatrical performer, the quiet caretaker, the free spirit, or the overachiever, just remember: Love, in all its forms, is meant to be celebrated. And sometimes, the most genuine expression of love is simply sharing a laugh, a hug, or a really awkward but endearing attempt at dancing together in the living room.

Because if love isn’t a little bit funny, what’s the point?