Romantic comedies… A Killer Desire

Photo by Dylan Sauerwein on Unsplash

The Impact of Romantic Comedies on the Perception of Sexuality

Romantic comedies are films that are appreciated by many audiences around the world. They transport us to an ideal world where love triumphs over all obstacles. However, behind their entertaining and romantic side, these films also have an impact on our perception of sexuality.

 

The idealized sexuality we all want to have

Romantic comedies often present an idealized image of sexuality. The sex scenes are usually sweet, passionate, and perfectly synchronized. The protagonists always seem to know exactly what their partner wants and they systematically reach orgasm simultaneously. This portrayal creates unrealistic expectations for viewers, especially youth and teens, who may feel disappointed or dissatisfied with their own sex lives.

 

Adults too…

We often think we are “wiser” than young people as adults, but adults are just as bogged down by this type of scenario. We are perhaps able to recognize intellectually that these scenes are made by actors who have practiced for 25 tries. Emotionally, however, we always adhere to these scenarios and we desire them in our own life as a couple. It’s not for nothing that 50 Shades of Grey, Outlander, Sex Life, Bridgerton and all the rest have had so much effect on the sexuality of many adults. Sometimes, even harmful impacts!

 

The Imperatives in Romantic Comedy Sexuality

Would you be able to identify the myths that are found in romantic comedies and the media in general? Which ones do you think you join?

  • Sexual desire is natural and should happen spontaneously (Eeeh! so not true)
  • When you undress, it’s really smooth, it’s sexy and really sensually arousing (yes right! How many times have your pants been stuck at your hips or the button on the shirt won’t come undone or the hole in the shirt for the head gets stuck under your neck?)
  • A simple sexy look succeeds in lubricating a vagina like a water park and that 2-3 kisses later, you slide a finger, an object or a penis inside to start penetration and immediately you are already in the 6th heaven of ecstasy. (Don’t think so!!)
  • Did you know that it was the media who invented the rule of waiting 3 days after a date not to appear “desperate”
  • A man always wants sex… you just have to offer it to him. It doesn’t take much to give her an erection (which the women in my office who have more sexual desire than their partner wouldn’t say about their sexuality as a couple.)
  • Sexual variety involves changing sexual position and changing rooms. (These changes are the equivalent of listening to your romantic comedy by changing the position of the TV to the side and imagining that you are watching a new movie)
  • If we love each other, we should be able to read and understand spontaneously and quickly the sexual desire of our partner in each of our sexual relationships
  • The nice guy ends up with the girl at the end. (Yes, being kind and respectful is the basis of a good, healthy and satisfying relationship… on the other hand it often takes more than that to be considered desirable)

Do you know of any others?

 

Why do we join it?

Naturally, it’s because it makes us dream and it’s fun. Pornography does the same thing for sexual fantasies. We always hope for a better world for us that touches our most satisfying aspirations. On the other hand, even if we don’t adhere to it intellectually, there is always a part of us that desires this reality. Sometimes, we don’t even distinguish between what is false and true in sexuality. We believe that we are beyond these standards that the “young” are too naïve to perceive when in reality… Adults have just as many blind spots.

 

Comedies are fun, but…

Romantic comedies have a significant impact on our perception of sexuality. While they can be entertaining and enjoyable to watch, it’s important to take a step back and not take these movies as a realistic model of sexuality. For real there! Not just saying… yes I know that, but still hope that it happens in your relationship and your sexuality. You have to get away from these ideas!

 


 

Sexologist Montreal

François Renaud M.A.

Sexologist psychotherapist

Specialized in couples therapy