{"id":621,"date":"2022-02-11T17:01:06","date_gmt":"2022-02-11T16:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com\/?p=621"},"modified":"2023-10-10T07:32:11","modified_gmt":"2023-10-10T11:32:11","slug":"my-partner-wants-an-open-relationship-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/2022\/02\/my-partner-wants-an-open-relationship-help\/","title":{"rendered":"My Partner Wants an Open Relationship. HELP?!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Even if polyamorous\/open relationships are now increasingly recognized and accepted, monogamy is mostly never questioned and generally always goes without saying, even in casual relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is also very rare, even unthinkable, to hear discussions about monogamy between two people. But it’s still funny to imagine :\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, I have to tell you something\u2026 I am monogamous! Is it ok for you? ”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

On the contrary, we hear much more often people talking about non-monogamy, in all its forms, with this point of view :<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, open relationships are very cool, I\u2019m very happy for them, but I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! ”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Why do people feel the need to affirm and reaffirm that this situation would NOT be for them? (I can already hear the non-monogamous people sigh, they know you wouldn’t be able to, we hear it every day ) But where does this come from? Judgments, misunderstandings, or true monogamous desires?<\/span><\/p>\n

Values and point of views evolve, but behaviors in general… not so quickly! And then, when one becomes personally involved in a situation of non-monogamy, reality catches up (too?) quickly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Open Relationship, The Beginning Of The End?<\/h2>\n

A partner wishes to have an open relationship, dead end or open to negotiation?<\/span><\/p>\n

Step 1 would be to find a good time to address the situation. Also, giving the partner time to take a step back and digest the shock of the announcement, they do not necessarily have the same knowledge or the same reflections <\/span>on the subject as the person with the non-monogamy project!<\/p>\n

Like anything, it takes practice to become comfortable in something new. Like a marathon, few people would be able to run a full one, with a 1 or 2 days notice. But, if a person runs a little every day, more and more, for weeks, and months, it becomes possible, even perhaps natural! One does not become instantly and magically non-monogamous.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But, when social prescriptions have been well deconstructed and partners are on the same wavelength, many beautiful things can happen! Discoveries, fulfillment, solidifying relationships, the advantages of non-monogamy have been discussed many times!<\/span><\/p>\n

It can be tempting to see only the good sides of non-monogamy, but it is still important to fully understand what it involves before getting started on this journey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Non Monogamous Preconceived Ideas to Avoid<\/h2>\n

– Having an open relationship will save my current relationship!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Open relationships are NOT modern miracles, but rather a huge emotional investment, which requires a lot of communication, honesty, sensitivity, patience, empathy, and compassion. Not as easy as it sounds! Above all, when a relationship is already weak, these elements are often already very fragile, whereas a relationship must be super healthy and thriving to survive the adaptation and changes required.<\/span><\/p>\n

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– I will finally be able to do whatever I want with whoever I want!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As mentioned above, an open relationship is a constant work in-progress, especially in terms of consent and limits. This implies (among other things) having to ask and clearly answer several questions, for example:<\/span><\/p>\n