It inevitably sounds annoying, uncomfortable, like a stain to be removed. Why it seems so difficult to put our sexual relations on “pause”. We already do it often with our films, our series, our true crime documentaries that are too intense, right?<\/p>\n
As in all situations, there is not just a before and after, there is a pendant too<\/strong> .<\/p>\n And it is during this while<\/strong> that there are as many scenarios as possible.<\/p>\n We hear more and more about the importance of consent. Free consent, without pressure or obligation, as well as informed consent, without alteration of conscience, have been making the headlines and forging new mentalities in recent years.<\/p>\n What about continuous consent? Or in other words, when the desire fades in the middle of the sexual relationship. We know that we have the right <\/strong><\/span><\/em>to withdraw our consent at any time… but it’s “weird”, embarrassing and guilt-inducing! Sometimes, especially frustrating for the other.<\/p>\n But is there even more room for questions than for a concrete answer in continuous consent? What does it mean, the entire duration of the relationship? After an orgasm? After both (or more) partners have had their orgasms? And in a couple, what does that mean? Is it possible that routine has erased the way we see the end of a sexual relationship?<\/p>\n There is indeed a perception of sexual relations as a commitment, which would be natural and innate. But, the sexual sphere is similar to the other spheres of our lives. Contrary to what you might think at first glance, sexual activity is like a social date with someone. We share, we listen, we laugh, we do each other good, in human contact. Not to mention that despite the norms and rules that influence our ways of acting, everyone is free, with the power to choose what suits us or not.<\/p>\n To illustrate how sexuality can compare to other types of activities, let’s pretend that sex is like a 5-to-7 night out with a friend. But this time, after some time, the desire to be at home in front of Netflix becomes stronger and stronger. The desire to be anywhere else is felt. What was supposed to be playful and pleasant becomes heavy, a social obligation. And it’s supposed to be for fun, right?<\/p>\n Everyone has experienced this feeling, either in sexuality, or in other social situations. But in concrete terms, how does this translate? What can our internal discourse look like, in the middle of a sexual relationship that never seems to end?<\/p>\n And these are just a few examples of what can go through the head of someone who wants to end a sexual relationship. We can be afraid of the other person’s reaction, try to rationalize, try to justify ourselves to continue, be afraid of being judged, not feel “normal”, afraid that we will be found “boring”. You can feel bad, forced to continue, and above all be afraid of disappointing.<\/p>\n However, sexuality has the particularity of being very intimate and personal. It is easy to feel at our most vulnerable, which accentuates the fears, fears and restraints that can be maintained. But ultimately, you have to live with the feeling of having made the right choice for you, and therefore, also, the right choice for everyone involved. Beyond the norms and the gaze of others, it is often wiser to take a step back and take a step back when the time is right.<\/p>\n Like anything, sometimes we don’t want to do it anymore. And that’s quite normal.<\/p>\n SOS, I want to leave!<\/h2>\n
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\n<\/div>\nREKINDLING SEXUAL DESIRE<\/a><\/h3>\n
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