{"id":30,"date":"2015-08-28T18:02:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-28T16:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/blog\/2015\/08\/28\/jealousy-destroyer-of-couples\/"},"modified":"2015-08-28T18:02:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-28T16:02:00","slug":"jealousy-destroyer-of-couples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/blog\/2015\/08\/28\/jealousy-destroyer-of-couples\/","title":{"rendered":"Jealousy: Destroyer of couples"},"content":{"rendered":"

What is jealousy?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Jealousy is define as an emotion that makes the person suffer when they are afraid that they will be replaced or cheated on by their partner when they seek exclusivity from that person. It is different than envy which is an emotion that demonstrates lust for someone else’s happiness. In other words, jealousy is the fear of losing what we already have and envy is the wanting of things that we would want. The envious person is in state of lacking something who seeks to fulfill that need (envy of a kiss, a touch, of being love, of having sex, etc.). On the other hand, people who are jealous are fearful of losing a state of well being that they already have with another person.<\/div>\n
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A Universal Feeling but Ultimately Useless!<\/span><\/h3>\n
Jealousy is a universal emotion among human beings that we have all felt one day or another. That small or very big sensation in our stomach that makes us feel uneasy, even though sometimes we wish it wasn’t there. Jealousy is extremely present in loving and sexual relationships, where it can even be glamorized as something good. Although even if it is universal, jealousy is completely useless in loving relationships. We can find that there is a difference in that aspect regarding genders (Harris, 2003; Weghosrt, 19882)<\/span>. More specifically, men tend to be more threaten by sexual conquest of their partners, while women are more scared of losing their partner’s to another lover. This tends to be changing in recent years with gender roles evolution.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Myths On Jealousy<\/span><\/h3>\n
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Proof of someone’s\u00a0love\u00a0<\/span><\/u><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/div>\n
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We often hear people justifying their jealousy by advocating it is a demonstration of one’s love towards their partner’s. First, we must make a point very clear: jealousy is not a proof of love<\/u>. On the contrary, it is a lack of love for one’s self. A person who feels jealous demonstrates a lack of self-confidence and imagines that they will or can be replaced when the opportunity might present itself. This implies that we consider others to be a menace to the stability of our couple. We show our worries, our fears and apprehensions when we express our jealousy in front of our partner. Inversely, a person with a high self-esteem (no-jealousy) has a feeling of security in their relationship and they demonstrate their love (seen by the satisfaction in the couple) rather than by jealousy (feeling of being insecure).\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Being Jealous Protects me From Being Cheated On<\/u><\/span><\/h4>\n
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Some will explain that their jealousy protects them from been cheated on by their partners. Once again, this could not be further from the truth. Jealousy brings interrogations, unjustified suspicions, constant surveillance and a lack of trust between partners. A perfect recipe for an unsatisfying relationship and constant bickering and fighting! These behaviors tend to push away our partner towards another person because they become dissatisfied with the relationship with the jealous person. We can then attest that jealousy creates the worst fear and what they are trying to ultimately avoid: losing their partner to someone else. It is not unlikely that partners constantly barraged by the other’s jealous behavior wants to leave the relationship and sometimes by cheating. Therefore, jealousy can sometimes cause someone to cheat. Of course, the decision remains in the hands of the one who committed the act, but nevertheless, jealous partners should consider how they might have pushed the other into their own worst fears.<\/div>\n

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