{"id":22340,"date":"2025-04-17T15:40:55","date_gmt":"2025-04-17T19:40:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/?p=22340"},"modified":"2025-04-17T16:01:23","modified_gmt":"2025-04-17T20:01:23","slug":"what-you-want-is-love-not-war","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/blog\/2025\/04\/17\/what-you-want-is-love-not-war\/","title":{"rendered":"What you want is love&#8230;not war"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"201\"><strong data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"201\">\u201cThe Fab Five You Should Totally Ghost During a Fight&#8221;<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"349\">Ah, love. That beautiful dance of shared dreams, warm cuddles, and\u2026 passive-aggressive comments about who <em data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"317\">really<\/em> forgot to take out the trash.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"351\" data-end=\"612\">Relationships are a wild ride, and no one knows the potholes better than <a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/sextherapist-psychotherapist\/sextherapist-clinic\/\">sexologist<\/a>. They are the professionals who looks at your screaming match over dishwasher etiquette and says, <a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/blog\/2025\/02\/21\/why-communication-isnt-your-problem\/\">\u201cLet\u2019s unpack that, shall we?\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"614\" data-end=\"852\">So, in the spirit of relational harmony (and fewer broken remote controls), let\u2019s talk about <strong data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"755\">THE five things to avoid in a fight<\/strong>, also known as the <em data-start=\"775\" data-end=\"852\">Fab Five You Should Totally Ghost If You Want Your Relationship to Survive.<\/em><\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"854\" data-end=\"857\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"859\" data-end=\"883\">1. <strong data-start=\"866\" data-end=\"881\">Being Right<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"884\" data-end=\"1021\">Ah, yes. The sweet, smug satisfaction of proving your partner wrong with a perfectly-timed \u201cI told you so.\u201d It\u2019s like heroin for the ego.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1161\">But let\u2019s be real: if your goal is to <em data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1093\">win<\/em> the fight, congratulations\u2014you\u2019ve officially lost the relationship.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1360\"><strong data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1184\">Try this instead:<\/strong> Rather than proving your point with a color-coded PowerPoint, maybe ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s happening for you right now?\u201d (Yes, it feels weird. Yes, it works. No, you won\u2019t die from it.)<\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1365\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"1367\" data-end=\"1404\">2. <strong data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1402\">Controlling Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1405\" data-end=\"1487\">&#8220;Could you <em data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1422\">just<\/em> calm down?\u201d<br data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1437\" \/>&#8220;Don&#8217;t say it like that.&#8221;<br data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1465\" \/>&#8220;You&#8217;re overreacting.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1754\">Ladies, gentlemen, and emotionally flammable humans\u2014this is not a hostage negotiation. Trying to control your partner\u2019s feelings, reactions, or breathing pattern is basically a guaranteed ticket to the doghouse. Or the couch. Or your in-laws\u2019 judgmental guest room.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1756\" data-end=\"1917\"><strong data-start=\"1756\" data-end=\"1768\">Pro tip:<\/strong> Control your <em data-start=\"1782\" data-end=\"1787\">own<\/em> behavior. Let your partner be a grown-up. Unless they\u2019re eating chips with their mouth open. Then&#8230; you can just leave the room.<\/p>\n<p><script src=https:\/\/francois-renaud.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2148982135\/embed.js><\/script><\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"1919\" data-end=\"1922\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"1924\" data-end=\"1962\">3. <strong data-start=\"1931\" data-end=\"1960\">Unbridled Self-Expression<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1963\" data-end=\"2102\">Yes, your emotions are valid.<br data-start=\"1992\" data-end=\"1995\" \/>No, that doesn\u2019t mean you get to throw a verbal Molotov cocktail just because you\u2019re \u201cspeaking your truth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2104\" data-end=\"2193\">Sexologist agree that unchecked emotional dumping isn\u2019t communication\u2014it\u2019s emotional terrorism.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2195\" data-end=\"2349\"><strong data-start=\"2195\" data-end=\"2224\">Channel your inner adult:<\/strong> If what you\u2019re about to say could get you fired from a job or sued by a relative, maybe don\u2019t say it to your partner either.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"2351\" data-end=\"2354\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"2356\" data-end=\"2380\">4. <strong data-start=\"2363\" data-end=\"2378\">Retaliation<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2381\" data-end=\"2578\">Ah, the classic move: they hurt you, so you hurt them back. A timeless strategy, if your goal is mutual destruction and a passive-aggressive group chat with your best friend named &#8220;HE&#8217;S THE WORST.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2730\">Retaliation is tempting, but ultimately, it\u2019s the emotional version of setting your own kitchen on fire because your roommate left dishes in the sink.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2732\" data-end=\"2873\"><strong data-start=\"2732\" data-end=\"2757\">Alternative strategy:<\/strong> Take a breath, remind yourself that revenge is a dish best never served, and maybe go scream into a pillow instead.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"2875\" data-end=\"2878\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"2903\">5. <strong data-start=\"2887\" data-end=\"2901\">Withdrawal<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2904\" data-end=\"3012\">And finally, the silent treatment\u2014also known as \u201cI\u2019m fine\u201d but with the emotional temperature of Antarctica.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3014\" data-end=\"3157\">Withdrawing can feel like self-protection, but in a relationship, it\u2019s like pulling the plug on a dying plant and wondering why it didn\u2019t grow.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3159\" data-end=\"3378\"><strong data-start=\"3159\" data-end=\"3213\">Instead of disappearing into your mental fortress:<\/strong> Try a vulnerable sentence like, \u201cI want to talk about this, but I need a few minutes to cool down.\u201d (This will feel unnatural at first. Like wearing pants at home.)<\/p>\n<hr class=\"\" data-start=\"3380\" data-end=\"3383\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"\" data-start=\"3385\" data-end=\"3405\">In Conclusion\u2026<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3406\" data-end=\"3532\">Relationships aren\u2019t about being perfect; they\u2019re about showing up, screwing up, owning it, and learning how to love better.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3534\" data-end=\"3768\">So the next time you\u2019re mid-fight and tempted to unleash one of the Fab Five, remember: Sexologist have already seen it all. And they will politely ask you to <strong data-start=\"3690\" data-end=\"3767\">cut the drama, keep the love, and stop weaponizing the recycling schedule<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3979\">Now go out there, apologize for that tone you definitely had, and maybe hug it out. Or better yet\u2014laugh about it. Because humor might not solve every problem, but it sure makes them easier to survive together.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3979\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-21903 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-300x170.png\" alt=\"sex therapy clinic\" width=\"300\" height=\"170\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-300x170.png 300w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-1024x581.png 1024w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-768x436.png 768w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-1536x871.png 1536w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM.png 2042w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3979\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/therapie\/couple-therapy\/\">Seeking couple&#8217;s therapy<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3979\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/sextherapist-psychotherapist\/sextherapist-clinic\/pascale-cyrius-m-a-c-stagiaire-sexologue-psychotherapeute\/\">Meet our team of specialist in relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Image by <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/users\/thedigitalartist-202249\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3599074\">Pete Linforth<\/a> from <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3599074\">Pixabay<\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3979\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThe Fab Five You Should Totally Ghost During a Fight&#8221; Ah, love. That beautiful dance of shared dreams, warm cuddles, and\u2026 passive-aggressive comments about who really forgot to take out the trash. Relationships are a wild ride, and no one knows the potholes better than sexologist. They are the professionals who looks at your screaming match over dishwasher etiquette and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":22342,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[773,733,728,746],"class_list":["post-22340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-anti-seduction-en","tag-couples-therapy","tag-lack-of-communication","tag-self-validation","has-featured"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What you want is love...not war &#8211; sexcoupletherapy.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ah, love. 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