{"id":21087,"date":"2025-01-14T10:04:18","date_gmt":"2025-01-14T15:04:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/blog\/2025\/01\/14\/what-couple-dynamics-do-you-have\/"},"modified":"2025-03-02T17:46:25","modified_gmt":"2025-03-02T22:46:25","slug":"what-couple-dynamics-do-you-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/2025\/01\/what-couple-dynamics-do-you-have\/","title":{"rendered":"What couple dynamics do you have?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><b>A Collaborative Alliance:*<\/b><\/h4>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><b>Couple dynamics: your romantic relationship and sex life depend on it<\/b><\/h2>\n<div style=\"font: normal normal normal 16px\/normal Verdana; min-height: 19px; text-align: center; margin: 0px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">We would like to believe that a romantic relationship and sexuality are naturally easy for couples who are mature and healthy. Of course, there are some conflicts and clashes that are inevitable in any relationship. On the other hand, <a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/therapie\/therapie-de-couple\/\">how do you get through a conflict that does not seem to be resolved<\/a>? What are the elements that help overcome the biggest challenge(s) that all couples, at one time or another, will have to overcome?<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h3><b>Communication techniques won&#8217;t help you!<\/b><\/h3>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2012\/11\/manque-de-communication-ou-difficulte.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lack of communication<\/a> is rarely the cause of the problem in couples who are facing an <a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/solutions-aux-chicanes-de-couple.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">emotional impasse<\/a>. Relationships based on passion, romantic romance and attachment are usually short-lived. The key ingredient to a long-term romantic relationship is a collaborative alliance that involves loyalty and integrity. However, loyalty in the face of adversity requires a strong <a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2014\/01\/intimite-sexuelle-partie-4.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">emotional balance<\/a>. This balance is found in a good self-knowledge and self-responsibility, the ability to comfort ourselves, to offer thoughtful answers and significant endurance in the face of our anxieties and insecurities.<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h3><b>Different types of wedding rings<\/b><\/h3>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">To maintain a <a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/construire-une-meilleure-dynamique-de.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">collaborative alliance<\/a>, it requires having these 4 points of emotional balance. Without these, the couple forges other types of alliances that are harmful to the personal growth and development of the couple.<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">There are collusive alliances where the members of the couple avoid real conflicts by ignoring them. These couples come to therapy with problems in sexuality, but not in other areas of their relationship. They describe themselves as a couple with good communication and do not understand the reasons for their sexual difficulties (often difficulties with sexual desire).<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">These couples are neither honest with their partner nor with themselves. They have not developed the ability to confront themselves or their partner when it is necessary to do so. This lack of loyalty and integrity kills sexual desire in the couple, but since no one wants to admit their wrongs; The conflict persists. What best describes this type of alliance is an implicit rule between the partners to avoid all forms of significant conflicts, as neither has the capacity to manage them.<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><script src=https:\/\/francois-renaud.mykajabi.com\/forms\/2148982135\/embed.js><\/script><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\">\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\">There are also couples who have combative alliances. They like conflicts and they eat them for breakfast. It&#8217;s their way of being in relationship with each other. They say everything that bothers them about the other person and the relationship. These couples openly argue with each other without worrying about the repercussions. The problem with this type of alliance is the total avoidance of self-confrontation. They constantly blame each other, but they never look at their own insecurities that help keep the unhealthy dynamic going. Their greatest fear is to admit their wrongdoing to their partner and put themselves in a position of vulnerability. They constantly repeat to themselves in their heads: &#8220;If I admit my wrongs, my difficulties, my anxieties; My partner will use them against me!&#8221;<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">Some couples actually have no alliance with each other. The dogma of the couple consists of personally attacking the other and defending oneself at all costs. There is no limit on how far you can go to titillate the other in your ego. As we say in English: &#8220;The gloves are off&#8221;. In his relationship as a couple, there is a high level of <a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/dynamique-de-couple-malsain.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">normal marital sadism<\/a>. These couples have fairly large quarrels where knives are thrown low and the threat of a breakup is often used, without ever coming true. You might think that these people no longer have love or importance to each other. However, you should not trust first appearances. This is due to the importance each one has for the other and why they are always able to hurt each other emotionally in mutual ways.<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">A couple can have more than one type of wedding ring (or lack thereof). It depends on the topic or the context in which the partners find themselves. For example, the partners may have a combative alliance on how to raise children, a collusive alliance in sexuality, and no alliance on housekeeping and common expenses. An alliance also has the ability to change from collusive to combative for sexuality and return collusive at other times. In other words, wedding rings are fluid and interchangeable over time and depending on the partner.<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">Before reading on how to build and maintain a collaborative alliance, take the time to recognize yourself in the type of alliance you are strengthening in your relationship. Assess which topics and contexts are changing your alliance types. How do you react when your partner offers you a wedding ring? Do you take it or do you try to bring it into another type?<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">\n<div style=\"font-family: Times; font-size: medium; text-align: start;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font-family: Times; font-size: medium; text-align: start;\">\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"font-family: Times; font-size: medium; text-align: start;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-300x170.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-21903\" src=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-300x170.png\" alt=\"sex therapy clinic\" width=\"300\" height=\"170\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-300x170.png 300w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-1024x581.png 1024w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-768x436.png 768w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM-1536x871.png 1536w, https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Screenshot-2025-03-01-at-3.07.46\u202fPM.png 2042w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"font-family: Times; font-size: medium; text-align: start;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lesexologue.ca\/\">Sexologist &amp; Psychotherapist Montreal<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">\n<hr \/>\n<div id=\"mc_embed_signup\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"left: -5000px; position: absolute;\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"clear\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">SEE ALSO<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><b><a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/construire-une-meilleure-dynamique-de.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">A Collaborative Alliance:<\/a><\/b> Build and maintain it<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><b><a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/dynamique-de-couple-malsain.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Normal marital sadism<\/a>:<\/b> Learning to hate your romantic partner<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><b>Text Series:<u> <a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/12\/intimite-sexuelle-partie-i.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Sexual Intimacy<\/a><\/u><\/b><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/solutions-aux-chicanes-de-couple.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><b>Emotional impasse<\/b>:<\/a> fundamental conflicts of couples<\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px; text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;\">\n<p><b><a href=\"http:\/\/montreal.lesexologue.ca\/2012\/11\/manque-de-communication-ou-difficulte.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lack of communication or difficulty tolerating intimacy?<\/a><\/b>*text inspired by the book Intimacy and Desire by David Schnarch<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> A Collaborative Alliance:* Couple dynamics: your romantic relationship and sex life depend on it We would like to believe that a romantic relationship and sexuality are naturally easy for couples who are mature and healthy. Of course, there are some conflicts and clashes that are inevitable in any relationship. On the other hand, how do you get through a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[726,713],"tags":[731,733,732,728],"class_list":["post-21087","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-en","category-uncategorized-en","tag-couple-chicane","tag-couples-therapy","tag-lack-of-communication-en","tag-lack-of-communication","no-featured"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What couple dynamics do you have? &#8211; sexcoupletherapy.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&nbsp; A Collaborative Alliance:* Couple dynamics: your romantic relationship and sex life depend on it We would like to believe that a romantic\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/2013\/10\/quels-dynamiques-de-couple-avez-vous\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What couple dynamics do you have? 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