{"id":19,"date":"2016-11-06T17:32:00","date_gmt":"2016-11-06T16:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/blog\/2016\/11\/06\/sexual-issues-how-to-manage\/"},"modified":"2023-10-12T09:18:27","modified_gmt":"2023-10-12T13:18:27","slug":"sexual-issues-how-to-manage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesexologue.ca\/en\/2016\/11\/sexual-issues-how-to-manage\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexual issues: How to manage"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tools to have a satisfying\u00a0sex life<\/span><\/h2>\n
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Typical reaction to sexual problems<\/h3>\n
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Most couple therapies will focus to a certain degree on giving the tools to react productively to a sexual difficulty. A lot of the times, the couple comes in with one of them being the “patient” and the other will be tagging along. Sometimes, the partners agree on those positions initially given and other times it is a point of conflict between them.<\/div>\n
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Who really has a problem?<\/h4>\n
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Frequently\u00a0the person who tags along during the therapy has strongly reacted to the problem by feeling culpable and blame themselves for it. For example, a man will have difficulty with his erection and the partner will think that they are either unattractive or incompetent in bed. This puts pressure on the partner to reassure their spouse’s low self-esteem. Inevitably, this creates performance anxiety for the next sexual encounter which diminishes sexual arousal and pleasure, thus perpetuating\u00a0a vicious cycle.<\/div>\n
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The person who tags along can also have frustration towards the designated “patient”. If one partner has lower sexual desire than the other, this builds up over time as their sexual needs are not met as they wish. Often, the initial reaction of blaming oneself turns towards the other when the situation doesn’t change. Unfortunately, these negative reactions only hinder the issue further down more difficulties.<\/b><\/div>\n
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Co-constructing a sexual problem<\/h4>\n
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When couples perceive sexual issues as sporadic and temporary in time, this can reduce the factors that maintain the problem in the first place. \u00a0<\/b>A defeatist attitude or dramatizing the sexual difficulty generally\u00a0increases the problem. The partners\u00a0don’t see each other as collaborating but combative. \u00a0One’s behavior creates a bad reaction in the other, especially in emotionally fused couples.<\/div>\n
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For many people, sexuality is an aspect of their life where they are fragile and vulnerable. When there is a sexual issue that doesn’t rub their ego the right way by feeling incompetent and less desirable; it generates a reaction that threatens the well-being of the relationship.<\/div>\n
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