Sex, The Body and Your Mind

Laws of the Body*

Mind and Body Are One

Although, it seems that our society has separated the mind from the body as two separate entities, sexuality, the body and the mind are inseparable. Some people tend to advocate that the brain is the biggest sexual organ of the human being. That is a half-truth since the brain is actually part of the body. According to the «Sexocorporel», mind and body are interdependent of each other because one always affects the other. Feelings are felt through the body not our heads. This concept is called mind/body where our bodily movements (breathing, gestures, postures, etc.) have an impact on our mind (emotions, beliefs, self-esteem, sexual fantasies, etc.) The laws of the body which consist of muscle tension, our speed and the space we use, can help us on different levels of our sexuality. More specifically, the functions of the three laws of the body allow us to modulate our sexual arousal, augment our sexual pleasure, expand our sexual imagination and change our perception about sex.

Sexual Arousal & Sexual Pleasure

First and foremost, it’s important that we make the distinction between sexual arousal and sexual pleasure. The former is the physiological response our bodies have when we are stimulated sexually (touching, hugging, caressing, kissing, masturbating, etc.). Men will have an erection while women will lubricate. On the other hand, sexual pleasure is how we feel about the experience whether it be good or bad. It is absolutely possible to be sexually aroused, yet feel no pleasure during a sexual activity. Even though, we are in love with our partner and are capable of having an orgasm, our subjective experience might not be as pleasurable as we would like. It’s not rare to find people who get cramps during sex, which diminishes the enjoyment of our sex life. Fortunately, we can heighten our pleasure with the three laws of the body, if we know how to explore their potential.

Muscular Tension

Our muscular tensions play a crucial role when it comes to our sexual arousal. For the human body to get aroused there needs to be a certain amount of muscular tension in the area of the genitals. The buttocks, pubococcygeus (PC), abdominal and pelvic muscles are the most solicited during our sexual activities. The contraction and relaxation of theses muscles augment the blood towards our genitals which increases sexual arousal and makes us reach orgasm. It’s important to consider that our muscles can be hyper-contracted which can create cramps or too relaxed which becomes unpleasant as the sexual tension is not released.
The movements of the upper body such as shoulder, neck, back, and pectoral muscles access the emotional part of us. When we laugh, cry, feel joy, pleasure, etc. there is inevitably a contraction and relaxation (movement) of those muscles. When it comes to sexual pleasure the same principal comes into play. As our sexual arousal increases so do our muscular tensions in our entire body. Therefore to access even more sexual pleasure we can create more fluidity by moving our upper body in different directions to feel the various sensations during a sexual activity.

Speed of our Movements

The speed of our movements also plays an important role in the sexual arousal and pleasure. When we slow down our bodies’ movements we are more aware of the diverse sensations of touching our partner. Futhermore, slowness allows us to relax our muscles and feel more sexual pleasure. Increasing the speed of our movements will inevitably make our muscles contract more, which escalates our sexual arousal so that we may reach orgasm. Hence, by playing with various speeds during sex we can modulate our sexual arousal to then increase our sexual pleasure and feel every different sensation that our bodies are capable of providing us.

Inner & Outer Space of the Body

We can divide the space of our body into 2 types of category: inner and outer. The former is related to the style of breathing that we use. A deep, slow & abdominal breath will relax our muscles and allow to better feel our body. This relaxation will cause our movements to be slower and amplify our sexual pleasure. On the other hand, a short, rapid and thoracic breath will generate sexual arousal by contracting our muscles and increasing our speed.
The space that we use outside of our body is the expression of our movements such as arms, legs, neck, pelvis, hips, etc. Movement is how the body feels pleasure. It would be hard to imagine someone feeling extreme pleasure in an immobilized state of his or her body. The more space we use with our body, the more our muscles contract and relax to provoke the movement. We are then capable of feeling numerous sensations that we would feel in a more limited space. Consequently, the more sensation we feel by diffusing our sexual pleasure throughout the entire body, the less we can concentrate in one particular area. Therefore, when we limit the movement we can concentrate our sexual arousal towards the genitals for example and have an orgasm. Once again, increasing and decreasing the space we utilize during our sexual activity will allow us to explore our sexual arousal and pleasure in different ways.

Just Have Fun!

In conclusion, it’s important to remember that sexual arousal and sexual pleasure aren’t opposites. People can feel both at the same time. What is important is to find balance between these two concepts so that we can enjoy our sexual activities to the fullest. Therefore, enjoy exploring the three laws of the body and all areas of your sex life in various ways as to modulate your sexual arousal to make it last longer and heighten your sexual pleasure to enjoy even more.

* Inspired by the Sexocorporel approach

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